Straight from the Hottie's Mouth
How to approach, talk to, and ask out the hotties of Chicago, from the hotties themselves!!
by Pete Garlock, Photography by Greg Vogt
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| Angela |
Kelli |
Jennifer |
Chinwe |
Jessica |
Ask any single guy going out what his number one goal is for the evening, and he’ll most likely say to meet a beautiful, sexy woman. Ask any man what his biggest regret is the following morning, and he’ll probably say that he didn’t go up and talk to that beautiful, sexy woman he saw the night before. So why is that? Why do most single men want to meet the beautiful woman they see every weekend, but just can’t seem to bring themselves to approach them? Could it be lack of confidence? Is it fear of rejection? Or maybe it’s a fear of saying the wrong thing and getting verbally castrated in front of his friends. Whatever the reason, it’s the one thing that keeps guys from meeting the woman of their dreams, and keeps them stuck inside their single nightmare.
What if you knew what those beautiful women were thinking, what type of men they’re looking for, and how they like to be approached?
What if you knew the right thing to say to them…and more importantly, what not to say to them? Well, that’s the objective of his article…to essentially help you get your foot in the door. Because after all, initiating the conversation is half the battle.
I’ve always wondered what the best way to strike up a conversation with a woman I’ve never met before was.
So I spoke with five extremely attractive (yet surprisingly approachable) women of the city and asked them how they like to be treated when men, whom they’ve never met before, come up to them to strike up a conversation. Here’s their advice and a few tips on what to say to a hottie, what not to say to a hottie, and how to hang in there long enough to get a conversation going with a hottie: Straight From The Hotties’ Mouths!
TIP #1: LOOK GOOD, BUT NOT TOO GOOD
Like any situation when trying to make a good impression, your appearance speaks volumes about you, before you even open your mouth. You may not realize it, but the groundwork of your approach initially lies within the way you look. I know that sounds shallow, but after all it’s only natural. And don’t tell me you don’t do the same thing to women! You could be the nicest, funniest, most generous man in the world, but if you look (and smell) like you just climbed out of a cave after 20 years, chances are you should go right back in, where it’s dark and lonely! Kelli, 28, a southern belle and professional nanny, who’s sort of a cross between Pam Anderson and Anna Nicole Smith back in the day (those lucky kids!), is impressed with a man who takes care of himself: “A must for me is good hygiene! Body odor or bad teeth is cause for immediate dismissal!” (Luckily I bathed and brushed the day I met Kelli.) Angela, 26, a bartender and full-time student, whose looks simply mesmerize you, agrees with Kelli. “Well-shaven, clean-cut, a little cologne where you have to be very close to notice it, clean nails, pressed clothes. I like to see he takes care of himself.”
So go ahead, it’s OK to primp…but be careful not to do too much. Jessica, 23, a waitress and student, who is utterly adorable and a bit on the shy side, says don’t overdo it with your appearance. “Too much of something is a turn-off. Too much beefcake, too much waxing or tanning; it’s unattractive. I like a guy who’s nicely put together and friendly.” (I immediately stopped working out and waxing at that moment.)
Chinwe, a 24 year-old real estate analyst who is striking in both her beauty and statuesque appearance, echoes Jessica that too much is not good. “I am not attracted to men who wear lots of jewelry…men who are too pretty or too concerned with their appearance, or too rough in appearance.” (She doesn’t like men who are too pretty…THANK GOD!)
Jennifer, 30, a travel professional, and the one I’d describe as the wild and sexy one of the group, might be a little easier to win over. “The clincher is if the guy has a great smile! I’m a sucker for that!” (But constantly smiling at her like I was doing after she said that might creep her out her out a little…)
TIP # 2: HOLD THE CHEESE, PLEASE!
You should know that each of these women remarked that when they go out to bars and clubs, they’re really there just to be with their friends and not to hook up. (We really are from different worlds, huh guys?) More often than not, being approached by a strange man will be unwanted, which means if you come at her with some tacky, pre-rehearsed line, it will not be welcomed, it will not be considered charming, and above all…it definitely will not get you laid! Every woman I spoke to was able to remember word-for-word a cheesy line that some guy spouted at them in some bar. Kelli’s heard lines like, “Hi, I’m Mr. Right, someone said you were looking for me,” and “Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.” Chinwe told me that although she admits one man’s approach was creative, it still resulted in no dates. “This man came up to me and said, ‘Paris or Milan?’ I said, ‘Excuse me?’ And he said, ‘Where do you want to go on our honeymoon?’”
Of course, it’s not just using cheesy lines that can scare her away, but also saying the wrong thing. “Anything he says that suggests any kind of sex as soon as he meets me is a turn off,” Kelli says.
As I suspected, each woman assured me that these kinds of lines do not work on them…so don’t bother memorizing them. Your chances of success with dumbass lines like these is equal to your chances of winning the lotto while being struck by lightening.
TIP # 3: THEY CAN SMELL FEAR!
Confidence, it seems, is the key when talking to a woman for the first time. Women love confident men! But if you’re desperate, they’ll know it! Angela tells us that it’s confidence in a man that’s the biggest turn-on for her, but women can also sense desperation. “It’s usually about the vibe a guy gives off,” she says, “Fear and aggression give off a smell. Confidence, mixed with his interest in you, is very attractive. If a guy is truly interested in you and not just your bedroom, he will show a genuine interest in who and what you are. I like that.” Jessica, however, feels that “men with manners are classy, very sexy.”
Remember, women love confidence, but confident does not mean cocky. Apply some manners and always treat these women (as with any woman)
with courtesy and respect. It’s rare these days and you’ll definitely stand out in her mind! Just be sure to make eye contact, too. Jennifer: “Most guys’ eyes never get above my chest!” (For the record, her eyes are blue…)
TIP # 4: THEY MAY BE WATCHING YOU FIRST!
Be aware when you’re checking out the hotties in the place, chances are they may have already checked you out, even though you may not have noticed. (We men are just more obvious about it.) And what you do while they’re watching you may decide whether or not she wants you to come over. Angela: “When you notice someone you are attracted to and they are attracted to you, it is safer to watch him from a distance, and while you talk with your girlfriends about him, you ‘do your homework.’ By that I mean, who are his friends, what kind of girls is he talking to, how does he act while he knows you are watching.”
Chinwe says what catches her eye is “the quality of people he has around him…and his ability to focus on what he wants and not be distracted by all of the other beauties in the mix.” Jessica feels that signals helps. “A guy needs to give off signals that he’s interested. Smiling a lot helps.”
So the success of your approach may depend on the company that you keep and how your buddies are acting as well. So if you do find the one woman open to meeting someone, it’s important to remember that not only have they already been watching you, but your friends too. Said Jessica, “If I see a guy having fun with his buddies and not looking like he’s out to score, I think that’s attractive.” But be careful, because sometimes your friends could hurt your chances. Adds Jennifer, “If I see a guy with his friends and they’re behaving like a 14 year-olds, forget it!!”
IP # 5: A SENSE OF HUMOR, NOT DOLLARS & CENTS
During my interviews, I asked each woman to rank in order of importance a list of qualities contained in a potential new guy, and the quality most important to each of them was finding a man with a sense of humor. If you can make them laugh, you’re in, because people tend to want to be around other people that make them feel good. And humor is a sign of intelligence, which is the next important quality they’re looking for…a man who is able to carry on a conversation. This was followed by appearance (and if he’s good-looking), and how many friends he has with him. Thankfully (especially for us struggling writers), each woman described salary and what kind of job the man held as the least important quality. (I know what you guys are thinking and I have to admit I thought that too…but at least it sounds good on paper…)
A FEW LAST DON’T’S
I wrapped up the interviews by asking the hotties what the biggest don’ts are when meeting them for the first time. Here are their responses:
Angela: “Make me feel uncomfortable about making over-opinionated statements.”
Chinwe: “Talk about my looks.”
Jennifer: “Lie like a dog!”
Jessica: “Anyone who is disrespectful.”
Kelli: “To continue to scan the room, checking the other girls out, after he has approached me to talk. This is so obvious that this guy is checking out other options in case I don’t work out for him!”
So there you have it, an insight to what women notice, think, and what they want when being approached by a new guy. Smell nice and don’t over-wax. Drop the lines and make her laugh. Be confident, respectful, and not cocky. Oh, and don’t hang out with jerks. If you take these simple steps, before you know it, you’ll be talking to that gorgeous women you spot across the room, and asking her out on a date.
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